Reflections and Advice from Debut Year
Dear reader,
This blog post has been a year in the making. It’s a personal culmination of musings on my debut year drawn in broad strokes. If you’re an author about to publish a book, I hope some of these observations help you navigate your debut experience. If you’re a reader, hopefully this post will provide some interesting insights into the behind-the-scenes of debut lead up.
If you’re interested in reading about the early stages of my journey, including my editing & query journey, you can check out my How I Got My Agent post. This post will start with a recap of my journey leading up to my book deal and end with a list of takeaways.
To begin with…
The “Draft to Book” Journey of THE STARDUST THIEF (a summary):
The Stardust Thief was not my first completed manuscript. It was, however, the first manuscript I edited in earnest. For years, I’d written entirely for myself. I put no pressure on myself to publish—I simply had fun, exploring worlds and characters because I was excited about them. And then I finished TST and something shifted. Rather than jumping straight to the next project as I always had before, I decided I’d finally built up enough confidence as a writer to tear my work apart and make it better. So I turned to my behemoth 297k-word first draft and buckled down for edits.
I edited TST for 3+ years and celebrated every milestone. Finishing a draft, editing a chapter, fixing a plothole—all reasons to celebrate. I measured my success in small, achievable steps. To avoid disappointment, I kept my dreams small, lest I crash trying to reach them.
And then I got an agent, and I was overjoyed that someone believed in my work enough to try and sell it. We edited the book, went out on submission…and I could hardly wrap my head around the interest The Stardust Thief received from editors. The book went to auction, which was surreal. I was in Kuwait with family during that time, and I remember getting calls from my agent first thing in the morning. Because of the time zone difference, I was jittery and could barely sleep, my mind constantly whirring with all the what-if’s.
When I signed with Orbit for a trilogy, I was in shock. Up until that point I had been walking through the submission process like a dreamer in a haze. I remember the moment the realization struck me: I was asking my editors where they thought The Stardust Thief would sit on shelves and they started listing authors I greatly admired—authors I couldn’t believe I’d get to share shelf space with.
That was in January 2021. The below section lists all the biggest takeaways and lessons I learned from that time to the end of my debut year, 2022. Because this experience is different for every author, I want to stress that I’m not generalizing. This is based on my experience as a traditionally published debut, but I hope these takeaways are insightful in some way!
1) Learning to see the book as a collaborative effort:
The closer I got to my book being in the world, the less I could control about it. Frequently, I had to remind myself that my story was becoming something other than a personal project; it was being packaged as a product.
There were a lot of moments in this process where I felt strangely disconnected from my book. When I first received ARCs and saw my cover in-person, I was both overjoyed and mystified. After years of associating my book with certain colors and imagery, it took me a bit to wrap my head around the TST cover being mine. One thing I realized: You can love a cover but still have trouble processing it as your cover. Many parts of this process were like that for me. If you stick with a project long enough, you’ll probably have a specific idea of how you’d like to see certain things depicted. And that vision may be different than the way others perceive your work. Ceding, or at least reframing, some of that personal vision was something I had to do constantly throughout the debut process.
And yet, the collaborative part of this process is in itself magical. I have the privilege of working with a very passionate & talented team who went above and beyond to make this book look beautiful inside and out, and I’m grateful for it. Many of the things that took me a bit to process were things I ended up appreciating in the end, cover included. Still—it took me a bit to wrap my head around the mindset of “book as a product," and it’s a perspective I continue to work at separating from my personal relationship with my work.
2) Fighting imposter syndrome to celebrate the wins:
As a go-with-the-flow person who only sets goals I can control, I was surprised by how much my brain attempted to downplay every success in this process. My initial response to every good thing that happened to me was, weirdly, denial.
Excitement was quickly chased by anxiety. Anxiety of not living up to expectations, of not deserving a recognition that had been given to other authors. Whenever something amazing happened, there was a little voice in my head that said: Do YOU deserve this? I fell into a vicious mental trap, my brain throwing new goals at me even before I could celebrate good news.
Here’s what I’ve learned: “Success” is subjective. Because you can’t help but automatically make new goals every time you reach one, the bar will always get higher. Everyone might have their own idea of what it means to be a successful author (being in x bookstore, hitting x list, reaching x reviews, being invited to x event, etc), but at the end of the day, what matters most is that you are proud of your work and acknowledge every achievement. So long as you keep writing, you can continue to strive toward new goals and dreams!
One thing I’ve started to do is list out my accomplishments & save all my good news in a folder. Making those achievements material makes it harder for me to push them aside. I’d recommend doing this no matter where you are in your process. Every milestone matters!!
Which brings me to…
3) “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
No matter where you are in your process, it’s hard not to measure yourself up to others. Online, people will often emphasize the highlights of their writing journey. Those wins are what we see most and, as a result, it’s easy sometimes to feel like you’re getting left behind, not going fast enough, or not making the progress you want.
But one of the biggest things about publishing: It’s not a continuous upward trajectory. There are ebbs and flows, and long waits where you may not know what (if anything) will happen while you’re waiting for an email or update. You never know how much is going on in an author’s life behind the scenes. The struggles, the quiet moments where it’s just us and the drafts…they’re not the flashiest moments, but they’re a necessary part of the process, and I’ve had to remind myself of that after the excitement surrounding debut.
On top of that, every individual book journey is different; you never know how a book will be received by its readers. The same is true of every author’s journey as well. What you might not accomplish with one book you may with another. During those long pauses when I’m second-guessing myself—those moments where I’m frustrated at myself for being slower than other writers, for not having made as much progress or not met some personal goal—I remind myself: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
At times like this, I go back to my roots. I remind myself why I write, why I love my work, and that my process is unique and my own. I remember that the joy is in the journey—my journey :)
4) Post-debut (or pre-debut) crash is real!
One thing I didn’t realize until it was actually happening to me: Feeling deflated after putting a book out in the world is very normal.
The lead up to debut is exciting! But also exhausting. The closer I got to pub date, the more I wondered: Am I talking about my book enough? or What if I’m oversharing and people are sick of listening to me talk about my book? Even with a team behind me, I felt a lot of pressure to post about my work. I made graphics, posted social updates, and promoted (& put together) my own preorder campaign.
I’ve talked to lots of authors about this crash. My experience was that I crashed right before my book hit shelves. I was so ready for my book to be out—for it to be out of my hands—that the time after release was actually a huge relief for me. I didn’t have to overthink about preorder numbers, lists, my book being on shelves early… I could just let my book be and focus on my sequel without worrying that I wasn’t doing enough promotion for the first.
If you’re an author about to publish, know that these feelings are very common. Be sure to prioritize your mental health during debut week. For me, that meant spending lots of time with family and friends. I’m incredibly grateful I had people there to celebrate my book launch with me and to distract me from the realization that everything that happened next was completely out of my hands. Every author weathers this time differently, so regardless of your experiences, just know that your feelings are valid!
5) So, about those Book 2 horror stories…
Book 2’s are hard, they (other authors who had gone through this) said. Prepare yourself, they said.
Reader, I was not prepared.
After editing my first book for so long, I knew I’d improved as a writer. I had the thought that even if this project wouldn’t be easier, I could set more efficient goals. The first draft of TST was 297,000 words and took me 2 years to (first) draft. I thought: I can write THIS first draft in less than a year and make it 160k. And then I started writing…and writing… and writing…and the more I wrote, the more awful I felt. When I got to the end of my Book 2 first draft and it was 330k words, it wasn’t excitement I felt, but despair.
These characters (Loulie 💀) defy pre-draft outlines
(Art by @samohsai)
297,000 words on Book 1 felt like a triumph—I knew it was a mess, but it was done and I could take my time with edits!
330,000 words on Book 2 felt like a failure. It was the first time I resented the meandering nature of my drafting process, something I’d always loved off-deadline because it allowed me to explore the world alongside my characters. But when I finished this draft I thought, There’s no way I’m going to edit this in a few months. Have I really improved as a writer?
It took me a long time to recognize I was being too hard on myself. That, at the end of the day, each book is different and my process is my process, even under deadline. It’ll likely change as I keep writing but right now, this is how I work, and whatever works, works—even if it doesn’t line up with the ideal one year publishing schedule.
I have a lot to say about Book 2’s, but as I’m still editing THE ASHFIRE KING, I’m going to hold off on a lengthier reflection until I can look at it all in retrospect. But if you’re having a hard time with your next book: Cut yourself some slack! Learning to write on deadline is hard. Following up a polished book with a messy first draft is hard (as any writer knows). I, personally, am still learning to become comfortable with sharing messy drafts after keeping my early work so close to my chest for years.
If you need an extension, ask for it. If you need help, ask for it. No one’s experience is the same (I’ve also spoken to writers who had a much easier time with Book 2, authors who already had them written before Book 1 publication, etc…), so don’t put expectations on yourself that’ll sacrifice your mental health, regardless of what your Book 2 journey looks like!
6) Community is important.
This is true at every point in the process. Whether you’re drafting, editing, querying, publishing… finding others who a) understand your experiences and b) will let you talk about them is incredibly important. Various times in this process, I felt bad about things. And then I guilt-tripped myself for feeling bad when good things (like getting a book published!) were happening. I was lucky to have friends there to remind me that I’m allowed to feel sad or disappointed while ALSO reminding me that I should celebrate all my wins, even the small ones.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to people. A debut group, friends, family—being able to talk about this stuff and have someone there to put things into perspective for you truly does wonders. I was trapped in my head a lot during my debut year because I truly felt guilty being sad about anything. It took me months to realize this was an unhealthy mindset, and that a lot of authors felt this way, especially during that debut crash.
7) Communication is key.
And speaking of community—communication is also key. Specifically, I’m speaking about communication with the publishing team. Most anyone who’s had some experience in this industry knows that publishing is very opaque. Oftentimes, there’s a lot happening behind the scenes that we don’t know about. But sometimes there’s not—and it’s good to know what you should or shouldn’t expect from your team. My advice: If you have a specific question, ask. And if something is important to you, follow up. Even as I write this, I’m scribbling a reminder for myself because I’m bad at both of these things. Asking for clarity is never a bad thing.
Knowing what your publisher will and won’t do for you will allow you to make plans. If your publisher isn’t making graphics for big announcements, you can choose to make them yourself. If you really want to do a launch event, you can ask them if they’ll help you set one up. If they won’t, you can look at setting one up yourself. If you’re interested in getting the book into the hands of a certain person or a certain demographic of reader, send them that request and let them know it’s important to you.
In general, I had to readjust my expectations a lot during this process. I think a lot of us do. Events, promotion, publicity, etc. look very different across imprints for every author, which is why knowing what your publisher will do for you will hopefully help you avoid disappointment!
8) Timelines can be fluid…or not 🤔
“Hurry up and wait,” they said.
(A publishing mood)
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about publishing, it’s that “hurry up and wait” is a very apt description of the workflow. If you’ve dipped your toes into publishing at all, you’ll probably be familiar with this feeling. Naturally, it persists into and beyond publication.
This year, I realized that it can be hard to predict a publishing timeline. Some deadlines are strict (my team always told me when they were, and most of them were copyedit dates) but sometimes, I had no idea when I’d be getting something in my inbox.
In the beginning, I tried to carve out time in anticipation of edits. As it turned out, this was a futile exercise. The first time I got edits, it was a month or so after I’d planned for them. In the end, it didn’t matter; that time was accounted for and I still had the same amount of time to turn my edits around. So, my advice: Don’t stress too much if your initial edits come in later than expected. This is something that happens pretty frequently with all the juggling editors need to do between manuscripts and seasons. Also, I’ve been told this a million times, but don’t be afraid to ask for deadline extensions. Depending on what your pub schedule looks like, you may have some wiggle room, so it’s always worth asking. (Also: It’s more common than you think for release dates to be pushed back, so don’t feel bad if your book ends up getting pushed!)
9) Learn your boundaries and limitations.
As my book went out into the world, it was surreal to have people reading it. To see others enjoying and engaging with my work is the greatest compliment I could ever receive as a creative, and I’m grateful to everyone who gives my book a chance.
One thing I’ve learned throughout the process, though, is not to overextend myself. Every author has a different threshold for this sort of thing. In general, I try to answer and interact with as many things that I’m tagged in as I possibly can (even if I’m sometimes slow or can’t get to them all!) and I don’t look at reviews or lists that I’m not tagged in, because I know those are for readers.
When it comes to media requests, I pass on anything I don’t have the energy or time for. Videos, for instance, take me forever to record, so I avoid them unless it’s for a thing I’m excited to put my time into or something really important. Similarly, I love interviews but don’t do many of them because they eat up a lot of the free time I spend writing.
I am truly grateful for every opportunity that I’m offered, so saying “no” was one of the hardest things I’ve had to learn to do. But life happens! And as you get closer to debut or start to work on that second book, you might start to feel the effects of burnout—which is normal. The best rule of thumb is to do what you love and enjoy. This goes for social media, publicity, etc. As of right now, Twitter and IG are the only platforms I have because they’re all I have the time for. Overextending yourself can take the joy out of things, so learn your boundaries and limitations so that you don’t drive yourself to burnout!
10) No book is worth your mental health.
On my worst days, this reminder has the effect of completely turning around my perspective. Books mean something different to everyone. For authors, they can be our livelihood, our escapes, our sanctuaries. They can be as personal as we want them to be.
For me, writing is deeply personal. But during debut year, my life revolved around my writing in a way that it never had before. Book-related anxieties plagued my mind daily, and I overthought how much I was promoting, how much I was/wasn’t responding to readers, etc. While promoting Book 1, I was also writing my sequel, and I spent nearly all my free time writing and brainstorming. Every moment I spent not writing made me feel guilty because I had limited free time to work on it.
But here’s the thing: Books aren’t created in a vacuum. Sometimes, you need to take a break from your writing so you can come back to it refreshed and inspired. “Progress” isn’t always defined by the words we add to a draft, but by the steps we take to get ourselves across the finish line. I had to remind myself of that when I wrote 330k words for my Book 2 first draft and knew I’d be cutting a lot of it.
The same thing is true of taking a step back during the debut process. If you need to take a break from social media or promotion, do it. Or, in the very least, build some cool-down time into your schedule after reaching some goal or deadline so you can take a breather without feeling guilty. Whatever the case, remember that a book isn’t your life; it’s a part of your life, and you should never feel like you have to sacrifice your mental health to put it out into the world. Better to put out something you can be proud of and that readers will hopefully enjoy than to rush to get something out and have regrets about it!
…And onward to 2023!
As you’ve probably gathered from this post, 2022 was a bit of a whirlwind for me! Publishing a book has been a dream of mine since I was a kid, but the actual publication process is filled with ups and downs. Going into debut year, I wish I’d seen more of those lows spoken about online. Or rather, I wish I’d looked for that content, because when I started feeling the burnout after debut, it was a relief to hear from other authors that I wasn’t alone in some of these experiences. My hope is that this post can provide a similar kind of reassurance or, in the very least, that it can shed some light on what this experience can look like for authors.
But I want to end this blog post on a high note! If you’re about to debut, remember that publishing a book is a huge accomplishment. That manuscript you’ve been working on is going to be book-shaped and people are going to be able to read it—which is incredible! Absolutely make the most of your debut year. We may not be able to control a book’s reception, but if you have the ability to make something happen that you’ve really wanted to make happen, do it! One of my dreams was setting up a preorder campaign, and I’m so lucky I got to work with talented artists samohsai and saramirza_art to make it happen :) I also always wanted to celebrate launch with friends and family, and I’m so happy I was able to do so.
And remember: There’s a lot of spoken (and unspoken, I think) pressure for debut year to be the definitive year of an author’s career, when it’s (hopefully) just the beginning. I am very grateful for all the incredible things that happened this year for The Stardust Thief—I truly cannot have asked for a better debut experience, and I’m floored by all the opportunities I’ve been given and the kindness of my readers. But I’m also excited to see what the sequel (and so forth) journey looks like! So…onward to 2023! :)
— Chelsea
Reverse Outlines: “Finding” your story during revisions
Dear reader,
Most writers think of outlines as a pre-writing tool but, just like any other tool, they can be created at any point in the writing process—even after the story’s been written. Most often, post-draft outlines are referred to as reverse outlines. It’s easy to get lost in a first draft, even with an outline. Reverse outlines are a great way to “find” your plot after your first draft is done.
This post will discuss (1) what I think are the benefits of these outlines and (2) how they helped me get my first draft down to 140k words from 297k! If you’re someone who finds visual references more helpful, feel free to scroll down to the IN PRACTICE session :) But, to start off…
WHAT is a reverse outline?
At first glance, it seems a whole lot like an outline. But think about it this way: just like it’s easier to edit something on the page, it’s also easier to create an in-depth outline of a story after you’ve written it. First drafts are like a jumbled puzzle. You’ll have a lot of the pieces by the time you’re done writing, but you’ll have to re-slot some (or a lot) into the correct places. A reverse outline is an outline you write after the first draft to figure out how every scene fits into the overarching story. Consider: is that puzzle piece even necessary to the puzzle? Can you throw it out? Or, can you reshape it to fit?
Usually, a reverse outline will include:
Chapter titles
Every important scene in that chapter
A “key” that you can refer to when figuring out how to mark up your outline
I have an example of what mine looks like in the IN PRACTICE session, but format your reverse outline however you like! The important thing is that it lists out the major scenes from every chapter. That way, when you jump into revisions, you’ll be able to refer to a document that gives you all the important details in one place rather than having to search for them in the longer manuscript doc.
WHEN do you recommend creating a reverse outline?
I recommend creating a reverse outline after you’re done with a first draft but before you send it out to beta readers. I think it’s best to edit a story to the best of your abilities before you get another opinion on it. Sending out your best (at the time) work will ensure that the revision suggestions you’re getting won’t echo edits you already anticipate making. It will cut down on a lot of future work.
I also like to personally step away from first drafts after I finish them—usually for at least two weeks—before jumping into a reverse outline. It may seem counterproductive but returning to a story after some time away allows you to reread it with fresh eyes.
Here’s a breakdown of what my own revision timeline looks like:
Finish my first draft
Spend some time away from the manuscript (and celebrate finishing!)
Write a reverse outline while rereading first draft
Create a fresh NEW outline for the second draft
Write a second draft based on my edits (I do multiple rounds of revisions before it’s “complete”)
Send to beta readers!
Edit based on [relevant] beta reader feedback
Repeat process as many times as it takes for the story to feel “finished”
HOW do you compose a reverse outline?
Just like with a normal outline, the level of detail in a reverse outline is wholly up to you! But here’s some advice:
Be as detailed as you can.
Write your reverse outline while rereading your first draft. Writing the outline while rereading will allow you to think critically about each chapter in the moment, which will give you some great in-context notes for later, when you’re trying to review the story as a whole.
Use bullet points beneath chapter headings for your main scenes.
Make notes on your manuscript as you reread. A reverse outline is extremely helpful for figuring out bigger changes, but taking notes on the actual manuscript is going to help a lot when you’re rewriting and trying to figure out where the edited content needs to go.
Think big AND small. As you go through and write your scenes, ask yourself: “Does this plot point contribute anything to my plot/setting/characters arcs?” It can be really hard to let go of content we love, but revising is the best time to consider pacing. If there’s anything extraneous in your story—a fun scene that’s unrelated to the plot, a random character quirk that never comes up again, a location that doesn’t reappear—think about cutting it down or out, OR find a way to reframe it so that it does contribute something meaningful to your story.
There is no right or wrong way to write a reverse outline! Here’s the format I used for mine:
[STORY TITLE] REVERSE OUTLINE
Key: This is where you decide how you’re “marking” up your outline for later interpretation. Are you going to cross out scenes that need to be deleted for your second draft? Will you highlight scenes if they contain a plot hole that needs to be solved? Try to come up with shortcuts/colors that are intuitive to you!
Chapter Number + Description: I cannot stress enough how important it is to number your chapters! If you have chapter titles in your manuscript, include them here! If you’re like me and don’t have chapter titles, include a VERY brief description. Believe me, it will be a lot easier to read your reverse outline if you include context.
Scene 1: Write out all important scenes for your chapter. I recommend using bullet points!
Scene 2
Scene 3
Chapter Remarks: This is something I like to do that really helps me. After I’m done writing out my scenes, I include notes and questions on that specific chapter for Future Me.
[Repeat this format until the last chapter]
WHO would benefit from writing a reverse outline?
I don’t do any planning before I jump into a story, and so find reverse outlining extremely helpful. But I think, no matter how much planning you do, it’s worth trying these out if you don’t know where to start with revisions!
IN PRACTICE: REVERSE OUTLINING MY MANUSCRIPT
I’m a pantser and an overwriter. When I finished the first draft of THE STARDUST THIEF, it was 297k words. I was terrified to jump into edits knowing so much would have to be cut, and that’s where a reverse outline really helped me. With it, I was able to cut my story down from 297k words to 143k. And then, after multiple rounds of beta reader feedback, I got it to 122k. I signed with an agent at that word count :) So, all of you over writers out there: don’t fear! You can cut your manuscript down. And if you’re someone who underwrites your first draft and is looking to add more, a reverse outline might show you where and when you can expand.
With screenshots, I’m going to talk a little bit about how I formatted my own reverse outline. I hope you find the visuals helpful :)
First, here’s the beginning of my reverse outline—my revision key:
I constantly referred to this key as I was plotting my outline. It helped me see, at a glance, how much editing each chapter would need.
Here’s a visual example of what the key looks like applied to the outline:
Behold: revision chaos!
No, but seriously—this is basically what my reverse outline consisted of: a series of mini-chapter outlines. Let me give you a quick rundown of why I included what I did:
Chapter Title/Character POV: I numbered each chapter and included a brief description. Also, since I always write more than one POV into my stories, I included the POV character(s) beneath the chapter title.
The scenes: Because my story was so long, I tried boiling all events down to 3-5 bullet points. Unless it was extremely important to the plot, I left out things like characters wandering from Point A to B, or thinking about things.
General Chapter Remarks: After I finished writing out the scenes for a chapter, I stopped and brainstormed—with myself. I personally find it really helpful to bombard Future Me with questions :’)
So, what happened here? See all that crossed out content? All of that was deleted from the second draft. Those POV characters—Zahra and Ramid—I loved them, but as I went through my reverse outline and crossed out their scenes I realized they weren’t necessary to the story. So, I cut them out. (Talk about killing your darlings!) The only piece of plot I retained from this chapter is the bit in red, which ended up being completely overhauled in the next draft.
Here’s another example from my reverse outline:
Phew, no spoilers here!
Anyway, here’s an example of how the reverse outline helped me merge content. After outlining this chapter, I realized it didn’t need to exist. There was only a single scene—and it was somehow 12 pages?? Yikes! So I decided to cut it down significantly and combine it with the previous chapter.
What happened AFTER the reverse outline?
My reverse outline was basically a roadmap. A very messy roadmap, but a much easier way to look at my story as a whole. After finishing it, I had a much stronger idea of what my story was. My first drafts are very exploratory; I often overwrite to figure out the characters and world. The reverse outline helped me cut elements that didn’t add anything to the plot.
This blog post is already running long so I’m going to skim these next details, but I’m happy to expand on the revision process in the future if anyone would find it helpful :)
Other things I did during this round of revisions:
I used a program called Scrivner to organize additional notes while I was writing my reverse-outline. These notes were about specific things I wanted to keep track of in the story. For instance, I had one document called “Location descriptions,” another called “Traveling Gear” (so I could figure out when/where the characters picked up and lost important items), and a “Memories” document where I kept track of flashbacks (with page numbers). The last document was helpful because it helped me figure out which memories were actually important to the plot. I ended up cutting 80% of my flashbacks in my second draft.
After compiling my notes, I wrote a full second draft outline. It was basically my reverse outline but with all the crossed out content gone and with additional edits + extra scenes. So, my reverse outline helped me figure out what needed to be added/deleted—and the the second draft outline is what I used for reference when I started my rewrite :)
I rewrote my second draft on a new document. I know everyone has their preferences, but my brain hits a roadblock when I paste old content into a new document, so I started fresh! I kept my old document open and, going chapter by chapter, slowly rewrote the entire story, constantly looking between my second draft outline and first draft.
IN CONCLUSION:
Revising is hard work and, like writing, there is no right way to do it. Reverse outlines are just one of many tools you can use to figure out what’s working in your work and what isn’t. They don’t work for everyone—just like outlines don’t work for everyone!—but if you need a way to “find” your story, they’re a great tool to try. I can’t imagine revising without them!
If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Revising is hard, but it’s also incredibly satisfying!
— Chelsea
How I got my Agent
Dear Reader / Writer / Creative / Mysterious Internet Specter,
2020 has been a bizarre year. So many twists and turns, so many spontaneous pitfalls, and the days somehow pass in both the blink of an eye and at a snail’s pace. Signing with an agent is the best possible Plot Twist—it’s been a ray of sunshine in what has been a stormy, uncertain year.
But wait, wait. I’ve started this story in the muddy middle. Let me go back to the beginning. I’ll skim past the childhood prologue (spoilers: I was a writer then too, and I spent my time writing SAILOR MOON X TEEN TITANS stories about superheroes, trying out character voices on my long-suffering sister, and rambling about my characters to anyone who would listen), and move on to…
CHAPTER ONE: Chelsea finishes “A Novel!”
I’ve been writing my whole life, but I finished the first draft of my first novel in 2015—it was 447k words. I know what you’re thinking: Chelsea, that’s not a novel, that’s a SERIES. Ha, if only! Even though that book was a mess, I was so proud of it because it was my first completed novel manuscript. There were two things that gave me the discipline to finish that draft:
1) The support of a dear friend of mine, whom I now fondly call The Best Critique Partner
2) NaNoWriMo, which inspired me to just DO THE THING, NO LOOKING BACK
My CP and I have been friends since 2015. I actually didn’t call her my CP until I joined Twitter because I didn’t know what a CP was. Anyway, the two of us don’t have a typical CP relationship. We don’t critique each other while we draft—we cheer each other on! If you’re reading this: bless you, Jas, for reading all of my terrifyingly long first drafts and for being the first to believe in my fictional kids <3
Anyway, back to the terrible first draft. I bet you’re wondering what I did with it when I was done. The answer is…nothing. I finished that draft, plopped it in a folder, and started on another first draft. The second completed manuscript I wrote was 770k (I scream every time I open that document). After that, I wrote a third story; this one was 350k words.
Did you ever think about publishing them? you ask. Or maybe: Why are you LIKE this?
The answer to that first question is “no.” I knew those drafts weren’t ready to be picked apart, and even more than that, I didn’t want to tear them apart. The reason I wrote so many first drafts without thinking to edit them? I wanted to play. I wanted to write without expectations, without having the word “marketability” looming over my head like a scythe. I wanted to fall head over heels in love with my writing so that when I finally felt it was time to pursue publication, having other people tear my work apart wouldn’t obliterate my confidence as a writer.
Back then, “querying” was a vague concept. I knew I had to do it eventually if I wanted to get an agent, but I wasn’t writing to get published when I finished my first novel. I was writing for me. I don’t regret jumping from draft to draft in those years because I loved doing it. And at the end of the day, I think that’s the most valuable lesson I’ve learned as a writer: you have to be your own cheerleader first. Comparing yourself to other people on social media can make that difficult.
That being said, the Twitter writing community has done so much to inspire me as a writer, and I’m so glad I became a part of it while I was drafting THE STARDUST THIEF. That’s the first book I edited and queried—and also the book that got me my agent.
CHAPTER TWO: THE STARDUST THIEF
Where to begin with THE STARDUST THIEF? For a long time, I’d wanted to write a book that touched on the culture and stories I grew up with. When I was a kid, my dad used to tell me and my sister stories about jinn and magic. Of virtuous thieves and wily sailors. I used to fall asleep listening to stories of Sinbad, and when the next night came, I’d wait with great anticipation for the story to continue.
Year after year I hesitantly revisited the idea of writing an “Arabian fantasy” before shying away. Forget other peoples’ expectations, I had high expectations for this yet-to-be-conceptualized story. And then one day, quite spontaneously, an image hit me with the force of a lightning bolt: I was listening to a Cirque du Soleil soundtrack when I was saw, in my mind’s eye, a smirking merchant on a ship, a coin dancing across her knuckles. A shadow loomed behind her—her bodyguard, whom I immediately knew was a jinn.
Who ARE these people? I thought. That question, that interest, was the beginning of STARDUST. The characters came to me in vivid snippets, scenes I archived in my head and started slowly but surely slotting into the story like puzzle pieces. I pantsed the majority of the first draft which came out to (…. wait for it…) 297k words!
CHAPTER THREE: AND NOW, ON TO EDITS…
I was an emotional mess when I finished this first draft. Was it rough? Yes. Was it terrifyingly long and barely readable? Also yes. (Again, my CP has the patience of a saint for reading every single word) But I had a feeling about THE STARDUST THIEF, a sense I’d written something other people might like to read.
The thing is: I had no idea how to edit. I’d edited short stories and scripts before, but never a freakishly long manuscript. Where did I even start?? This was when the Twitter writing community became an invaluable resource for me. I joined Twitter while I was about 70% of the way through writing my first draft, and I’d made, much to my eternal shock, REALLY GREAT, REALLY INSPIRATIONAL WRITING FRIENDS.
Never listen to those people who say writing is a solitary process. Writing is an inherently collaborative effort. Writers need second (and third, and fourth, and fifth…) opinions. They need a team of people who understand their vision and want to help them build and polish it. And I am so, so grateful I found the beginnings of that team on Twitter.
But still—while I was eager to get eyes on my draft, I didn’t want to send it out before I felt I’d done everything I could to make it shine. So I turned to my behemoth draft, took a deep breath, and basically tore out my still-beating heart while revising. I cut more plot points than I could count, two major characters, and more than 150k words. I reverse-outlined the whole story (outlining the chapters as I reread) and chopped anything that didn’t contribute anything meaningful to the story.
My second draft was 147k words. Thinking about how much better I made the story even in that first edit makes my heart swell with pride. But well, it wasn’t anywhere near done. After reading and rereading (x5 times) THAT draft, I sent it out to beta readers. And while I waited for responses, I dove even deeper into the strange space that is Writing Twitter. I discovered pitch contests, querying resources, and “How I got my Agent” posts. For the first time in my life, I tentatively pictured myself embarking on the same journey.
Then my critique came back in. And yay, people liked the story! …but it needed a lot of work. I’d been in critique workshops before, but this was the first time I’d gotten critique on a story I’d poured so much of myself into. It was both exhilarating and painful. Some of the critique cut me down to my core but, well—I was glad for it. I wanted people to tell me the truth. I didn’t want empty flattery; I wanted them to point out the issues so I could fix them, and make the story the best it could possibly be.
THE STARDUST THIEF went through multiple rounds of edits. Every time I got antsy looking at the pitch contests and writers in the query trenches, I forcefully turned my eyes away and thought: “Eyes on your own page. You’ll get there when you’re ready.” If I was going to send this story into the query trenches, I wanted to be 100% proud of it. What was the point of sending it out if I didn’t give it everything I had?
I edited THE STARDUST THIEF for a long time. I cut, added, cried, strangled my characters, and chopped SO many darlings until I got it down to 122k words. And finally, after 2+ years of working on the manuscript, I threw it into the void that is the query trenches.
CHAPTER FOUR: THE QUERY TRENCHES
First off, before I get any further in this, I want to mention that I got some really great questions about querying on Twitter and that, instead of answering them in this post, I opted to create a separate Query Q/A page. So if you’re interested in things like the steps I took to prepare my agent list and the resources I used to do so, give it a look—I really hope it’s helpful!
But I digress: This is probably the part of the story you came here for. Took me long enough to get here, right? But I’ll confess right off the bat that the querying trenches was the shortest part of this journey for me. It was also easily the most emotional stage, so if you’re getting ready to query—PSYCHE YOURSELF UP!! GET PUMPED!! (Also, I’m sending you all the positive vibes!!)
*clears throat* Anyway. People seem to like querying stats, so here are mine!
QUERYING STATS:
Time in trenches: 56 days
Queries sent: 21
Full requests: 12
Offers of rep: 3
Technically, my querying journey began with a pitch contest on Twitter—#PitMad—because that was when I sent out my first queries. But there are things I did to prep for querying even before #PitMad. Author Mentor Match is a mentorship program that pairs aspiring authors together with agented/published authors. At the end of last year, I’d done multiple rounds of beta readers on my manuscript and was excited to shoot my shot with AMM. I prepped a query and synopsis, read my sample pages a million times, and sent in my query package. And then I waited!
And waited…and waited…and waited.
I knew there were only so many mentors, and a limited amount of mentees. And yet, one can know the low odds and still feel defeated by them. As weeks went by, I crumbled in on myself. I knew the chances of getting chosen were very low, but I’d been holding out hope someone would see potential in my pages and be interested in asking for more.
Those requests never came, and the mentors offered a slew of reasons: it was a matter of finding the right fit (it always is!), a matter of finding a writer that knew how to help, and sometimes, the manuscript either needed a lot of work and wasn’t ready for AMM or, conversely, it was polished enough to be queried! Understandably, most mentors weren’t able to offer specific reasons to applicants because they were so busy, so I never knew why people didn’t connect to my manuscript.
…Psst, this is exactly what the querying trenches feel like ;)
That’s why, even though there was no interest in my pages, AMM was an extremely helpful experience, and I’m so glad I participated! It gave me a taste of the query trenches, connected me to fellow aspiring writers and, most importantly, gave me the drive to write a draft for a query and synopsis. I ended up building on both of those drafts when I was prepping to query, and I met so many fantastic writers in the process. Outside of AMM, I also joined a writing critique group where I met writers who helped me tear my query package apart. They gave me some of the best advice I’ve ever received, including “Know what you want from an agent.” and “Remember that you are so much more than this one project.” (I’m paraphrasing, but that’s the gist!)
I’m so, so grateful for the community support I had when I jumped into querying. Having writing friends that I could send questions to and celebrate my wins with was/is incredible. When you find those supportive people, keep them close—this a hard industry, and those people are treasures :)
Anyway, I talk a little bit more about the specifics of my querying experience on the Q/A page, but here’s the more concise, sappy version: I officially started querying after #PitMad. I joined the pitch contest, got an overwhelming amount of support on Twitter (which to this day, I am so insanely grateful for), and sent my first batch of queries and fulls to agents who liked my tweet. I waited with baited breath to see what the reception would be like, and was shocked when requests for fulls started coming in. Then I waited, again, with baited breath.
I was watching Spider Man: Into the Spiderverse for the first time with my family when I got my first offer of representation a little more than 40 days in.
I remember sitting there staring numbly at my laptop before my family noticed I was being weirdly quiet and asked me why I was making strange faces at my screen. What followed was a whole lot of emotion: tears and smiles and screaming and hugs. That moment will forever be frozen in my mind—I’m still so happy I had the opportunity to celebrate that moment with my family when, only months ago, I’d been working in New York and anticipating sending them text updates they’d receive later in the day because of weird timezones. I started querying in Pennsylvania, where I’d escaped to stay with some friends shortly after the pandemic hit. I had absolutely no idea I’d be able to fly back to Kuwait and be with family when things started happening in the query trenches. It’s been incredible sharing this journey with them when they’ve always been so supportive of my storytelling. Truly a blessing <3
Anyway—I set up my first agent call the day after I got the offer, and spoke to an incredible agent. Nothing could prepare me for the moment where that agent told me she loved my work. As writers, we’re so accustomed to pitching our work to people, so having your story pitched back at you with so much enthusiasm is…bewildering. A truly incredible, heartwarming feeling that disturbs your equilibrium in the best way. After I got off the phone, I sent nudges to other agents and waited for two weeks—that seems to be the industry standard, give or take—to see if any other agents would be interested in my work. I was a mess of nerves and excitement!
Before those two weeks were up, I received (a) some incredibly kind rejections, (b) passes from agents who weren’t able to read the manuscript by the deadline and (c) Two! More! Offers! I was stunned all over again and, just like I’d been on the first call, I was an emotional mess when speaking with those agents. All three agents had very different visions for THE STARDUST THIEF. The agent I signed with—Jennifer Azantian—had the vision that resonated with me most.
When Jennifer gave me her suggestions, I was nodding excitedly the whole time. Her suggested edits required me to untangle my plot lines and restructure them in ways I hadn’t considered; they forced me to look deeper, into the heart of my story. And I loved that. I hadn’t realized this going into the query trenches, but because all of the agents I spoke to had very different editorial styles (more about this on the Q/A), I was able to get a sense of what working with each would be like. And I realized I wanted an agent who could dig deep into the story with me, someone who could offer suggestions that would challenge me to see it in new ways. When I spoke to Jennifer on the phone I kept thinking, Yes! She gets it!! and that was extremely exciting!
Also: my call with Jennifer didn’t feel like an interview. It felt like a conversation, and I was able to talk about not just what I wanted to do with THE STARDUST THIEF but also, what I wanted to accomplish with all my writing. We talked about other projects I had planned, and what sorts of things inspired those stories. The call wasn’t just about my queried manuscript—it was about me, the writer. I got off that phone call and I was excited and nervous and INSPIRED.
I accepted Jennifer’s offer the day after my deadline. Before that, I spoke to every offering agents’ clients, thought deeply about the direction I wanted to go with my story, and pterodactyl-shrieked at my ceiling.
In the end, I couldn’t be happier about the decision I made. Getting to this stage has been a dream of mine since I was a kid, and I am so absurdly grateful to everyone who inspired me to keep reaching for it. A huge thank you to all of you wonderful writers on Writing Twitter—you’ve kept me afloat during this process, and I am so, so grateful for your interest in my work and for your friendship. I’m cheering you all on, and I cannot wait to celebrate your accomplishments <3 I’m also thankful to everyone who read my work—beta readers, family, friends and agents. Thank you for letting my characters live in your head, even if it was only for a little bit :)
CHAPTER FIVE: …AND ONWARDS!
Wherever you are in this process: You’ve got this. Everyone’s journey is different, and each is impressive and inspiring in its own way. Don’t compare yourself to others; writing isn’t a race or a competition. Celebrate every milestone you reach, because writing is HARD and you should be excited about every win. As writers, the only thing we can control is our own work: writing it, editing it, revising it, querying it.
Good luck, everyone, and may the muse be with you! :)
Chelsea